I feel like I have been spending too much time in Pluto's underworld. One moment, I feel up lifted and empowered so I make future plans. But then the next moment, I feel powerless and unable to see the road even inches ahead of me. Now, if I knew nothing about astrology or did not follow a spiritual path, I would feel incredibly lost at the moment. I might explode with anger at the simplest provocation or burst into tears when someone stares at me.
But I know what's going on. I know that Mars is stirring up old issues in my powerful 8th house (where sex, death, taxes, and psychology rules), I know that Uranus is tearing through the last vestiges of my 2nd house causing me to doubt that I have any talent, and leaving me feeling restless beyond belief. Uranus also brings the unexpected or just the unusual. You feel like you are starring in one of Luis Bunuel's movies!
Neptune in Pisces conjuncts my Moon/Saturn in my second house leaving me feeling spaced out most of the time. I soar with my epiphanies only to have Pluto drag me back down into the muck. And Chiron has some issues too, dropping those old childhood memories in my lap that I thought I had forgotten. It's like a friend of mine says, "It's all good" even when it feels like the universe is shoveling crap in my face. Thankfully, I have a sense of humor, but I tell you, there are some days when I don't.
My writing suffers because I start a project and then something out of the blue distracts me, or I have a new fire to put out, in which there are many, little ones at least. Time either speeds up or slows down and I am not sure what controls time. I feel clearheaded one moment, and foggy the next, sometimes ending up in a room forgetting my mission. What was I looking for? What am I doing here? Feels like insanity, and yet, I keep reading articles about people with similar experiences. Remember that song by Marvin Gaye, "What's Going On?" While I realize that song was not about these changing times, the title sure sinks in.
So I have my music, and I have those things I have already written that beg for release into the world, and yet, I'm stuck on this merry-go-round, leaving me feeling disoriented beyond belief. It seems like I keep revisiting the same scenarios which bring out my same weaknesses, that no matter how many workshops I attend, I don't evolve quick enough. Does any of this sound familiar? What's going on, indeed.
If you experience similar scenarios, take a look at transiting Pluto, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune in your natal chart.