Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Astrological Memoir--Chiron Return Brings Me to My Knees

If I thought I would not survive the Pluto in Capricorn transit to my nodes, Ascendant and Sun/Mercury, the super asteroid Chiron has taken me deeper into my subconscious--places where I never hoped to revisit...

There are wise ones who believe that we came here to this planet or this physical realm to live out our worst fears so that we would transmute them. I wonder some times. I have endured one outer planet transit after another since around the age of 18 or 19. The planets have relentlessly visited my Mutable T-Cross, or gone to battle with natal Neptune, Jupiter, Sun/Mercury or Ascendant. While I feared the Pluto and Uranus transit, felt nervous about Neptune visiting my Mutable T-Cross, not to mention old Saturn in Sagittarius, I wasn't expecting Chiron, not even a planet, to hit me this hard.

While it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm actually amazed at the powerful healing that is taking place in my life at this time. My Chiron Return ends February 2016 after Chiron leaves 18 degrees Pisces. But during this asteroid return to Pisces 18 degrees, I lost my home (twice), have not been able to attract business as an astrologer and coach, and I've grappled with physical illnesses, only to find that it's all related to chronic anxiety that finds it's roots in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from my childhood experiences.

Now, I'm happy to have found the roots to the miseries in my life I have suffered. And I'm thrilled to have found spiritual teacher and energy transformer John Newton who does Ancestral DNA clearings and the Universe blessed me with a wonderful therapist too. But this work is not for the feint of heart, even if it brings me liberation from a painful past. Chiron teaches us to accept what we can't change through radical forgiveness of ourselves and others.  Meaning, we can't change the stories of our lives, but we can change our perception in regard to those stories and we can detach ultimately from the emotional charges, which I'm in the process of doing.

Chiron ignites our inner wisdom through its transits, and especially through a Chiron Return which takes place around age 50 to 52. And for those of us with our sun, moon, or Ascendant in a Cardinal Sign, and born in the 1960s, there is a good chance that the Chiron Return will follow a Pluto transit. If you were born in the 1960s with numerous planets in Mutable Signs (Sagittarius, Pisces, Gemini and Virgo), you will also experience powerful Neptune and Saturn transits at this time which cause you to break through restrictions caused by memories and patterns in the subconscious.

So what a blessings is that Chiron forces me to dig through garbage in my subconscious so I can toss it out. It symbolizes finding the key to the attic where we have stored stuff we no longer have use for. Or maybe it's similar to cleaning out the garage and by doing so many memories attached to our possessions surface. Some of the memories are painful while others bring tears of joy. The force behind a Chiron Return brings us to our knees in surrender to the unknown. Just like Pluto, we face a Dark Night of the Soul, but less intense.  Allow your tears to bring release.

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