|by Patricia Herlevi, Atlantic Ocean, Cape Cod|
Update and corrected10-26-16
As a Cancerian, I feel that I can speak on behalf of Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising and Cancer Sun natives. When I use the word "native" I'm referring to people born under that sign's influences. Perhaps not as mysterious as Scorpio, Cancer still baffles the natives of this sign and people who know people with Cancer Moon, Cancer Sun or Cancer Rising. So I'm going to bring clarity and understanding because more than anything Cancer native need to be understood, heard, and comforted, even if they act otherwise.
Here's the thing, Cancers live in a protective shell which makes them hard and crusty, perhaps cold (to some people) on the outside, but that's only because Cancer is a water sign and these signs act as poster children for sensitivities and vulnerabilities. Cancer men especially hide behind a gruffness because they fear what would happen if they showed their softer side. This leads to all sorts of complications in relationships because people just assume that these men are macho or tough, when in fact, they tremble inside, they desire the love that they push away (in some cases). If no one taught them how to balance their yin and yang sides, they lose themselves in addiction, control games, and unwanted drama. And if either the men or women feel stress from confronting others or from not being able to move forward in life, they suffer from stomach or breast problems (ruled by Cancer).
Meg Ryan's character Kate in the movie French Kiss sums up a Cancerian experience with the line, "I hold all my stress in my stomach." And no doubt, Meg Ryan who is a Scorpion played a Cancerian character, Kate who loses her partner, has to face her worst fears, and then open up to find love again (a Cancer theme). Cancers fear loss and abandonment and the character Kate ends up in Paris where her luggage and passport are stolen, and she finds herself at the mercy of a French man who she thinks she despises. She has no choice but to open up and accept this man's help.
In fact, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a kind word, turn to either a Cancer or Pisces native. You get a person with that combination and depending on what mood they're currently in, you'll feel like you just returned home where you receive a dose of mothering (from men and women Cancer-Pisces natives). Cancer is the sign of mother and home. If a Cancer native did not have a happy childhood or a good relationship with the mother or lost his or her mother at a young age, it's best to enter therapy to heal those wounds. If these wounds are not healed before the Cancer native has children, he or she could abuse their children since this is the dark side of the mother (think Medea). Or they could suffer from addiction, even addiction to marriage where they marry several times and keep making the same mistakes which lead to another divorce.
The dark side of Cancer is that people who have Cancer as a Moon, Sun, or Rising sign tend to sulk or pout like children when they don't get their way. They also have a pushy side since they are represented by Cardinal energy. Sometimes they come off as bossy or smothering. Cancers are also known for their many moods which is around 12, each time the Moon changes astrological signs so when the Moon is in Gemini, the Cancer native is glib and full of words, but once the Moon moves into its own sign, the mood changes dramatically. And speaking of drama, try hanging out with a Cancerian when the Moon is in Leo!
The dark side of a Cancer man (and I hoped I would never have to say this), is that he can act like a leech. If he did not get the proper nurturing or mothering as a child, then he clings to women in adulthood and sucks the women dry. I have heard of some Cancer men as becoming obsessive over women (possibly over men too if they are gay). And this can lead to stalking or harassment. The weaker Cancer man won't take responsibility for his feelings and blames others for how he feels. He is manipulative and controlling, often abusive.
Instead of having their emotional needs met, people run away from them. Weak Cancer men require counseling and sadly, some of these men will end up in jail or rehab before they receive this help. If they manage to marry without this psychological support, the marriage is mostly likely ending in divorce. The Universe will no longer put up with co-dependent partnerships.
The dark side of a Cancer woman is that she could become an abusive mother. She could also take to drinking and drugs. She too needs to clean up parental issues, mainly with the mother. Counseling helps and so do support groups. Once she cleans all this up, she becomes a powerful teacher and healer who practices self-love.
Even with the Sun sign, we have three types of Cancerians as with we have three types of every sign. Cancers born during the first 10 days of the sign are Cancer-Cancer, Cancers born the second 10 days of the sign are Cancer-Scorpio and if they are born during the final 10 days, you guessed it-Cancer-Pisces. And to further complicate this, each of the water signs have different elements. Cancer has earthy qualities, Pisces has the quality of air and Scorpio has the quality of fire.
Cancers tend to have lighter and more sensitive skin, often with freckles. They have prominent jaw bones with crab-shaped faces or they might have perfectly round faces (especially as children), like a full moon. Their faces morph with the waxing and waning moons too. Cancers move sideways more often then they move forward and this is on all levels (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual). You will notice the body and face description more with Cancer Rising, but Cancer Sun also have these traits. Breasts are either small or rather large but either way call attention to themselves. Even the men have prominent breasts as they age (don't confuse this with large). The breasts are most noticeable on someone with a Cancer Moon.
While Cancerians are often referred to as having a shy demeanor, I can assure you there are just as many extroverts in this sign as their are introverts. But that doesn't mean that Cancerians feel comfortable in the public eye and this even goes for celebrities with Cancer as a Sun Sign. They have a homey feel or we think of Cancerians even famous ones as the boy or girl next door--think Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep.
I've read both good and bad press for this sign and this is why I'm writing this post. I have met Aries types attracted to Cancerians for the wrong reasons and I wouldn't recommend that these two signs form a relationship (friendship perhaps, but even with that these two grind away at each other). Cancers must be in a relationship where the other person rewards the Cancer native's generosity and kindness while not taking advantage of this sign's mothering nature. Remember when Cancer feels unwanted or slighted, it races into its shell and slams the door. No one should ever stay in an abusive environment or even one where he or she is not appreciated, but this especially true for anyone with a water sign Sun or Moon.
You won't find a more generous and nurturing sign than Cancer. The best description I can give you is Gaia, always sustaining and nurturing, but if you inflict damage then you'll pay the price down the line. Never abuse your mother and you will feel loved and at home for the remainder of your life.
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