Thursday, June 9, 2016

Reflecting on Zodiac Cancer (What Goes on in That Shell)

by Patricia Herlevi, Atlantic Ocean, Cape Cod


Update and corrected10-26-16

As a Cancerian, I feel that I can speak on behalf of Cancer Moon, Cancer Rising and Cancer Sun natives.  When I use the word "native" I'm referring to people born under that sign's influences.  Perhaps not as mysterious as Scorpio, Cancer still baffles the natives of this sign and people who know people with Cancer Moon, Cancer Sun or Cancer Rising.  So I'm going to bring clarity and understanding because more than anything Cancer native need to be understood, heard, and comforted, even if they act otherwise.

Here's the thing, Cancers live in a protective shell which makes them hard and crusty, perhaps cold (to some people) on the outside, but that's only because Cancer is a water sign and these signs act as poster children for sensitivities and vulnerabilities.  Cancer men especially hide behind a gruffness because they fear what would happen if they showed their softer side.  This leads to all sorts of complications in relationships because people just assume that these men are macho or tough, when in fact, they tremble inside, they desire the love that they push away (in some cases). If no one taught them how to balance their yin and yang sides, they lose themselves in addiction, control games, and unwanted drama.  And if either the men or women feel stress from confronting others or from not being able to move forward in life, they suffer from stomach or breast problems (ruled by Cancer).

Meg Ryan's character Kate in the movie French Kiss sums up a Cancerian experience with the line, "I hold all my stress in my stomach."  And no doubt, Meg Ryan who is a Scorpion played a Cancerian character, Kate who loses her partner, has to face her worst fears, and then open up to find love again (a Cancer theme).  Cancers fear loss and abandonment and the character Kate ends up in Paris where her luggage and passport are stolen, and she finds herself at the mercy of a French man who she thinks she despises.  She has no choice but to open up and accept this man's help.

Wikipedia
In the movie Under a Tuscan Sun, again we meet a Cancerian character, Frances, who experiences a wicked divorce and loses everything.  This forces her to travel to Italy, buy a villa (despite her fears and doubts), and after grieving her loss she must find a way to open up again to find new love. And true to the Cancerian spirit, while she's going through her own suffering, Frances reaches out to help others which include a young couple who desire marriage, a pregnant friend who was ditched by her lover and a ragtag group of characters.

In fact, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a kind word, turn to either a Cancer or Pisces native. You get a person with that combination and depending on what mood they're currently in, you'll feel like you just returned home where you receive a dose of mothering (from men and women Cancer-Pisces natives). Cancer is the sign of mother and home.  If a Cancer native did not have a happy childhood or a good relationship with the mother or lost his or her mother at a young age, it's best to enter therapy to heal those wounds. If these wounds are not healed before the Cancer native has children, he or she could abuse their children since this is the dark side of the mother (think Medea). Or they could suffer from addiction, even addiction to marriage where they marry several times and keep making the same mistakes which lead to another divorce.

The dark side of Cancer is that people who have Cancer as a Moon, Sun, or Rising sign tend to sulk or pout like children when they don't get their way. They also have a pushy side since they are represented by Cardinal energy. Sometimes they come off as bossy or smothering. Cancers are also known for their many moods which is around 12, each time the Moon changes astrological signs so when the Moon is in Gemini, the Cancer native is glib and full of words, but once the Moon moves into its own sign, the mood changes dramatically.  And speaking of drama, try hanging out with a Cancerian when the Moon is in Leo!

The dark side of a Cancer man (and I hoped I would never have to say this), is that he can act like a leech. If he did not get the proper nurturing or mothering as a child, then he clings to women in adulthood and sucks the women dry. I have heard of some Cancer men as becoming obsessive over women (possibly over men too if they are gay). And this can lead to stalking or harassment. The weaker Cancer man won't take responsibility for his feelings and blames others for how he feels. He is manipulative and controlling, often abusive.

Instead of having their emotional needs met, people run away from them. Weak Cancer men require counseling and sadly, some of these men will end up in jail or rehab before they receive this help. If they manage to marry without this psychological support, the marriage is mostly likely ending in divorce. The Universe will no longer put up with co-dependent partnerships.

The dark side of a Cancer woman is that she could become an abusive mother. She could also take to drinking and drugs. She too needs to clean up parental issues, mainly with the mother. Counseling helps and so do support groups. Once she cleans all this up, she becomes a powerful teacher and healer who practices self-love.

Even with the Sun sign, we have three types of Cancerians as with we have three types of every sign.  Cancers born during the first 10 days of the sign are Cancer-Cancer, Cancers born the second 10 days of the sign are Cancer-Scorpio and if they are born during the final 10 days, you guessed it-Cancer-Pisces.  And to further complicate this, each of the water signs have different elements. Cancer has earthy qualities, Pisces has the quality of air and Scorpio has the quality of fire.

Cancers tend to have lighter and more sensitive skin, often with freckles.  They have prominent jaw bones with crab-shaped faces or they might have perfectly round faces (especially as children), like a full moon.  Their faces morph with the waxing and waning moons too. Cancers move sideways more often then they move forward and this is on all levels (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual). You will notice the body and face description more with Cancer Rising, but Cancer Sun also have these traits.  Breasts are either small or rather large but either way call attention to themselves. Even the men have prominent breasts as they age (don't confuse this with large).  The breasts are most noticeable on someone with a Cancer Moon.

While Cancerians are often referred to as having a shy demeanor, I can assure you there are just as many extroverts in this sign as their are introverts. But that doesn't mean that Cancerians feel comfortable in the public eye and this even goes for celebrities with Cancer as a Sun Sign. They have a homey feel or we think of Cancerians even famous ones as the boy or girl next door--think Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep.

I've read both good and bad press for this sign and this is why I'm writing this post. I have met Aries types attracted to Cancerians for the wrong reasons and I wouldn't recommend that these two signs form a relationship (friendship perhaps, but even with that these two grind away at each other). Cancers must be in a relationship where the other person rewards the Cancer native's generosity and kindness while not taking advantage of this sign's mothering nature. Remember when Cancer feels unwanted or slighted, it races into its shell and slams the door. No one should ever stay in an abusive environment or even one where he or she is not appreciated, but this especially true for anyone with a water sign Sun or Moon.

You won't find a more generous and nurturing sign than Cancer.  The best description I can give you is Gaia, always sustaining and nurturing, but if you inflict damage then you'll pay the price down the line.  Never abuse your mother and you will feel loved and at home for the remainder of your life.

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11 comments:

  1. I wrote a comment and now I'm not sure if it posted as I cant see it. I just wanted to thank you for a lovely post and say that I really resonate with it. I'm Cancer Rising. I was also curious as to why you singled out Aries in relation to Cancer types, and If you could elaborate on it more. I have mostly Arian types in my life right now.

    Thanks and keep up the good work!

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  2. Thanks, Cassandra. Aries are courageous, bold and pioneering. They have many wonderful attributes, however, they are also rash, insensitive, and arrogant because they believe through their Sun Sign that they come first in everything. This makes them competitive.

    Now, in contrast, Cancer Sun, Moon and Rising Sign are sensitive, thoughtful and they don't thrive in competitive environments. The Cancer instinct is to nurture and mother. While this sounds like a good for the Aries (child of the Zodiac), the Aries feels suffocated because it is ruled by Fire and Cancer by Water.

    Aries are attracted to Cancer Types because they feel that the Cancer who comes off as vulnerable requires protection. They don't see the tougher side of Cancer, the strength in reserve. Cancer will feel thankful for Aries coming in like a knight in armor, especially when Cancer faces challenges, but then later, Cancer rebels against Aries.

    I've known many wonderful Aries people, but they are not good friends in my life. They do inspire me to act more courageous.

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  3. So hurful how aries catch such the wrap when it comes to matters of.the heart. Cancer s can be extremely insensitive and heartbreaking. Aries love strong are loyal and direct with affection )the good, and bad: :.Cancers keep you guessing if they are in and out, that is very hurt ful to say the least.

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  4. Hello Beauty Sun,

    It wasn't my intention to give Aries a bad rap. It's just not a good match for Cancer because one sign has a fiery temperament and the other has a watery nature.

    Depending on the type of relationship Aries is in and with whom, I'm certain Aries can be loyal and strong. However, my personal experience as a Cancerian with Aries men especially is that they don't stick around because they find Cancer women too clingy and smothering. They conquer, take what they can get, then run to the next woman. That has been my experience.

    And I think this is because Aries must feel needed but not smothered. They need adventure. Cancer natives confuse Aries natives in seeming helpless as if they require rescuing which is far from the truth. Then when Cancer seems stronger and bosses Aries around, it's uncomfortable for both signs.

    Every sign has weaknesses and strengths. I'm not bashing any sign, just giving observations.

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  5. Its not you, most every forum say horrible things about Aries nature. I am an aries woman who loves a cancee man who makes things very difficult when i pour my heart out and am supportive .fiery nature comes out when we feel hurt or taken advantage of. Cancer men are not as syrupy sweet as these forums love to make them out to be. Just saying

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  6. You're correct in that Cancer men are not syrupy sweet. I get that, having known many Cancer men. They do have a sweet side if they were treated well by their mothers and have grown up to take responsibility for themselves.

    I have met some generous and wonderful Cancer men and I have met a few deeply wounded in their childhood which left them with emotional scars. These are the men who would do well with therapy, but sadly, most of them seem fearful of therapist who are seen as probing into their privacy.

    Aries and Cancer is not among the best Zodiac partnerships because Aries is the child of the Zodiac and Cancer is the mother. Who wants that dynamic in an intimate partnership? Fire and Water don't get on well and while Cancer is perfectly comfortable staying at home, Aries requires adventure or begins to lose confidence. Aries requires some challenge to pit him or herself against while Cancer avoids challenges for the most part.

    This doesn't make either sign wrong only that with this connection someone ends up compromising to please the other. This only works for so long then the Aries will rebel or the Cancer will sulk with resentment.

    I'm not saying it can't work, only that each person must understand the true nature of the other's sign. Of course, having Moons or Ascendants or Venus/Mars in compatible signs helps.

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  7. cancer men are annoying and speak faster than they think.

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  8. That hasn't been my experience. Gemini men are the ones who speak rapidly so perhaps the Cancer men you have encountered had their Mercury in Gemini or many planets in Gemini. This is quite possible since Gemini is the sign right before Cancer.

    In general, Cancer men are most often shy and introverted, though that depends on other planet placements in their charts. They are thoughtful, sentimental, creative, and vulnerable. Since they feel vulnerable they might act gruff or as if they are tough on the outside to hide their tenderness on the inside. Remember they are represented by the crab and the moon.

    As a Cancer Sun/Mercury native, I've also observed that Cancerians are reflective mirrors and sometimes other people don't like being around us simply because we reflect back to them what they hide or deny in themselves.

    If you want a good example of a Cancer man, watch YouTube videos of Gregg Braden who speaks rather slow. Certainly he's not talking too fast.

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  9. Hi I was born July 21 1981 am I a cancer or Leo or both

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  10. I also like your article about cancers

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  11. If you go to Astro.com or another free chart site and plug in your birth details (day, time and location) you will receive your response. My guess is that you're Cancer, because the change over is usually on the 22nd. Look up descriptions for Leo and Cancer and see which one fits. These are two totally different signs since one is Water and the other Fire.

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