In the Realm of Cancerian

It's too early in the week for me to write my weekly Whole Astrology post, but the Zodiac sign, Cancer has appeared on my radar.  My sister had questions about Cancerians and Cancerian men in particular (though our father is a Cancer).  And last week, I saw a warning post on getting involved with Cancerian men and this scathing warning raised a red flag for me since people not versed in astrology make huge generalizations about signs based on their limited experiences of meeting people with those signs.  Mental illness and emotional problems can show up in any of the 12 Zodiac signs and often times, a person's behavior is a combination of astrological placement, the environment in which he or she grew up, and choices he or she has made and not someone's Sun sign.

As a Cancerian I can say that I know this sign well.  I know how Cancer natives move through life, how they hide their hurt and vulnerabilities through a tough demeanor.  I know that what appears as cold aloofness to others is just the way a Cancer native protects themselves.  All water signs are extremely sensitive emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  When you consider that these folks are psychic sponges whether or not they choose this, you will understand the defenses that these crabs put out--snap, snap, snap.  I feel snappy on some days too so watch out.

However, once you get past our mood swings (our moods truly change with each passing moon), our crabbiness, and our inability to express affection upon meeting you for the first time, you will find a loyal friend or partner in us.  We don't sting others like Scorpio or evade the truth like Pisces natives, but we're still watery and we deal in the language of emotions.  If you don't like this language, then a Cancer partner or water sign partner will drive you nuts.  It's not that we can't analyze anything or that we all suck at math, that's not the case.  We came to this planet to explore the emotional landscape and that includes darker emotions which sometimes end up as explosive or overly dramatic scenes.  And the Oscar goes to...

(Some Cancerian actors include: Meryl Streep, Robin Williams, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Natalie Wood, Diana Riggs, Pascale Brussieres (French Canadian), and you will find plenty of Cancer natives within your theater community).

Cancer dream and hold visions like Pisces natives, but Cancerians have the wherewithal and ambition to manifest those dreams. We also have loads of patience, persistence and tenacity which might not bode well from a person who doesn't want a Cancerian courting them.  After all, a Cancerian crush borders on insanity at times.  These folks are not beyond stalking someone they're obsessed with, but they usually mean no harm.  However, Cancer natives lean more towards shyness when it comes to pursuing relationships and even the men move sideways so you have to read between the lines with them.  Again, it's that Cancerian caution rearing it's head again.  For every two steps forward, it's ten steps back as the Cancerian scurries back into his cozy shell.

The woman can come off as old fashion, but not prim.  It's not that they don't enjoy sex, only that they don't want to feel cheap or prostituted in the process.  They want to know that others have their hearts in the right place and share the same dreams.  Cancerians for the most part seek stability and within a secure relationship.  They are not prone to sexual experimentation like some of the fire, air signs, or Scorpio and they don't appreciate one-night stands or people that sneak out in the middle of the night.  Cancerians enjoy cuddling, but they also enjoy having their space.  And this is hard to gage with Cancerians--because one minute their hot and sexy and the next, they're feeling as cool as a cucumber, sorry for the cliches.

Cancerians exude mystery too, just like we'll never figure out the Moon, we'll never fathom Cancer natives.  And we like it that way.  Only Scorpio exudes more mystery than Cancer, who sorry to say, will never read like an open book.  Cancer natives like keeping their books tightly closed just like they'll keep secrets from you, not out of spite or control, but because they need something that's completely their own.

I can tell you that the Cancer road is fraught with dramatic events that poke at the Cancer natives abilities to balance emotions.  And most of us came here to learn to balance emotions.  Once a Cancer native moves past their numerous fears (most irrational) and move past victim mentality, they evolve into stable loving partners who speak the language of emotions with clarity.  They make excellent psychics and energy healers because they can read other people's emotions.  But they must learn to distinguish between other people's emotions, beliefs, and patterns from their own stuff.  This is a lifelong lesson and one of the reasons Cancer natives will pull away from others and hide in their shells.

Even though I know that we need to look at whole charts when determining what relationships will work with any Zodiac sign, the Sun sign compatibility does matter with Cancer natives.  I personally have dated earth, air, water, and fire signs and even with other compatible components in charts, relationships with fire and air signs felt catastrophic and landed me in therapy.  Cancer natives love having their own space, but their idea of freedom is not a live and let live relationship. We simply don't speak the same emotional language as air and fire signs.  We do well with water signs provided that each partner own their own stuff.  Earth signs bring grounding and stability, but can feel stuffy and boring at times.  Air sign natives just want to analyze everything and think their way out of emotional situations which Cancer natives can't stand.  We feel unloved when others don't validate our feelings.  And fire signs, well with their here today, gone tomorrow approach, what Cancer native wants to deal with that?

I used to scoff at the conservative descriptions of Cancerians, but the truth is we are conservative when it comes to money, real family values and we lean towards clannish (which is a weakness for us).  We love earning money doing creative work or even spiritual work.  If we have a belief that money is evil, it didn't originally come from us, but was programmed into our thinking process by parents, community, or our peers.  Money brings us comfort and we feel safer having it and cramming as much as it as we can in our shells.  We would also prefer to own a home so I feel sad for all those Cancerians who lost their homes in recent years and those who ended up like vagabonds living in cars or homeless shelters.  There is nothing more depressing for a Cancer native and they won't see the bright side of this situation, if there even is one.

The other thing that depresses Cancer natives is an empty cupboard or fridge.  They don't over stuff themselves with food, but they feel safer having it around.  I think Cancer natives invented the term "comfort food" as when this sign is at it's best it is about nurturing the stomach and the soul.  To end this long and winding post, I'm including movie trailers that embody Cancerian women and one Cancerian man, Robin Williams.  And in response to the cautionary woman who gave warnings not to date Cancerian men, perhaps you're just not compatible with sensitive water signs or fearful of them.  This, I'm sure, you will get over in time.

Sandrine Kiberlain in Madamoiselle Chambon, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkZH4h5IE5s

Meg Ryan (a Cancerian), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF9xsk3tmoA

Robin Williams (Cancerian) in Patch Adams, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byPJ22JDFjI